[ He only rolls his eyes, holding fast to the way his fingers tuck the object against his palm. ]
Please trust me. [ Because that's all he's asking here, all he's ever asked, and honestly, it's what he thinks they borh need right now. Granted, this gift isn't a good substitute, but... It's all he has. ] Your hand, Dean.
[ don't you roll your eyes at him!!! but dean only sighs, sound frustrated as he...finally does hold out his hand. whatever this is, he's not digging it so far, not when nothing is being explained. ]
[ His smile is small, but there is no hesitation in his taking Dean's hand, almost lightly pressing with his own fingers before smoothing the other man's out gently. Just a careful inspection, really, and then, he's pushing a ring with a particular symbol on its face down his pinkie. It's small, originally belonging to a woman he should never have taken it from. But that is his business, wanting him to take it without any strings attached.
Castiel traces the lines of it for a second or two--only to make sure it's not too tight. ]
It's, uh... [ for someone with faith in nothing ] It should bring you luck.
[ well, that's not what he was expecting. but one, two beats later and the ring is in place, leaves dean to stare down at it with mute surprise.
he would have much sooner seen you dropping to your knees than this, really. so give him a moment. ]
A lucky charm? [ another look, cas, you can have it. but despite that, his tone remains carefully neutral as he slowly withdraws his hand to look at the odd symbol closer. ]
[ Maybe he likes the attention a little too much, almost reluctant to release his hand, but he does. This isn't what they do--not anymore. Castiel drops his own hands, one lifting to rub at the back of his neck before sliding into a pocket. ]
It's also for... protection. [ Who's to say he's actually wrong about that. ] I think we need all we can get in a place like this.
Protection. [ righty right. dean examines the ring for a beat more, a second or two of simply looking at it, and then drops his hand away, focus back on cas. ]
M'sure its power will be put to the test sooner rather than later.
[ because yeah, this place.
the last part has him pausing, hesitating... ]
Right.
[ don't expect a thank you!!!! ]
You give one of these to everyone you invite over?
[ He stares right back, tensing perceptibly at the question. It should annoy him, and to a degree, it does. That Dean would try to cheapen something he'd put thought into, had risked giving him despite the original hesitation because of that tear in their bond. Castiel's mouth thins. ]
You're the, uhm, fearless leader. I would think you mean more than some random person. [ He keeps his voice cool, distant. ] Besides, who would I bring here?
[ No one really. There's been a handful of others, but nothing beyond words, looks. He hasn't touched despite the urge to do so. ]
There is no other, and you're the only one to have it. [ Just like him. ]
[ who cas would bring, who he wouldn't... dean doesn't really care, but it's easier to bring up than the fact that the other man just gave him a goddamn ring. another glance, down at it, this time his fingers are idly tracing over the symbol... ]
It'll do.
[ is said finally, quietly. it's the only sort of thanks you'll get for it. ]
[ The expression on his face is fleeting, but it's kind. Much too kind than what Dean thinks he probably deserves. It's the same look he's always given him regardless of whether or not he's consciously aware of it--a bit too knowing. Castiel stretches, arms behind his back so there's something to do with his hands. ]
I'm glad you like it.
[ Doesn't mean he isn't going to be a big smug about it though. ]
[ It's only then does the smile falter, eyes rolling over Dean and beyond to the untouched bottle he'd left sitting. What more do they have in common now besides this? Castiel sees it, like most things, as an opportunity, and he picks it up after some maneuvering, this time settling himself on the floor by his bed.
He has to look up at him from this angle, but it's not the first time he's done so. ]
I'm not keeping you from it. [ Because he still has the other bottle. Castiel opens his and leans back, watching him as he takes a drink. ]
[ damn right, you ain't. as if it's a challenge, dean takes a long drink from the bottle, right until he has to part from it just to breathe. it burns good though, sets low in his stomach like solid warmth. ]
So... manage to taint your screw up of a past self yet? He was there, you know, on the spaceship when it happened.
[ He almost laughs at the screw up part, how he knows that to be true, so true, but the last of it has him drawing up short, the sound more clearing his throat than anything else. Castiel swallows what's in his mouth and sits back, looking up to the ceiling. ]
I do, and he's aware of his mistakes. [ More than. There's something like a hum. ] Have you, uhm, seen him around?
[ Because he hasn't. Not since contacting him a few days prior when he'd learned the news himself. It makes him angry, but there's a little pride mixed with it, knowing that he had succeeded where his supposed "better" self had not, even if it had only been once. It's twisted logic, and it has him drinking again--several big, quick swallows. ]
Not since he took Sam's body. [ not that dean particularly cares. castiel isn't useful to him anymore, not with the anger he holds for dean because of what he'd done, and now that there's no lucifer to hunt...
dean has no plans of approaching the angel. ]
Probably better that way.
[ he would, god knows it, just end up getting castiel killed most likely. ]
[ That, however, he hadn't known, and he's quiet for several long seconds, allowing them to fade into a minute. Two, which is taken to drink and let the burn of alcohol settle in his belly. Whatever it is, it's strong, but it doesn't negate the twitch of annoyance he feels thinking of the angel.
There's a low sound of dissatisfaction. ]
I think it would be... unwise to disregard him completely. Past you, as well. [ He drops his gaze, leveling with Dean. ] It seems a considerable amount of time has passed since last we saw him.
I'm not asking you to do that. But it's likely he could know something important. [ Whatever that is, he couldn't even begin to guess. There are far too many what-ifs, and supposing this is likely to become a priority, he's going to have to sort out far too much himself. ] Keep your enemies closer - as they say.
[ You are your own worst, after all. He gives him a smug grin before dropping his eyes to stare at the bottle he's drinking from. His thumb rolls along the edge. ]
What the fuck could he know, Cas? Apparently I screwed up and he saved the day. [ his past-self had been kind enough to drive that point home sweet and thorough. ] Our timelines are different-- we're the ones who're fucked, not them.
Sam can't ignore me forever either.
[ dean won't let him. brb going to empty this bottle now thanks. ]
You don't know that. [ Immediately, he jerks his head up and eyes him rather pointedly, oddly incandescent in that conviction. ] Things might be different, but it doesn't mean they are easy. You should take it into consideration.
[ Use him if he has to. However quietly it's implied, it's only there for a second or two, and then, it's almost a race to see who can finish their bottle first, though Castiel isn't as hellbent on downing the rest. There's already a slow burn in his gut anyhow. ]
I fuckin' hope none of it was easy, I hope he hurt just as much as -- [ i ] -- we did. [ for a moment there's nothing but pure hatred in his voice, fueled by the alcohol. he hates his past-self, hates him for making it through, for getting to keep sam and be okay. ]
Either way, none of it matters here anyway, right? We're dead, they're not, and it ain't like we can just fuckin' hitch a ride with them back to their little paradise universe.
[ He sits there and simply takes it. Dean's anger and his hate, the words that mean everything and hardly scratch the surface of what it is he alone feels. He doesn't allow himself to, searching for that blissful numbness of the liquor he drinks. They're probably going to need another bottle.
So, slowly, he climbs to his feet and uses the edge of his bed as a guide, already a bit lightheaded from the way the previous stuff hums in his veins. Yet, he's practiced, and there's a little breathy laugh as he wiggles one free and works to get it open with oddly sure hands. ]
If you could, would you want to follow them? [ Back there, a world without an apocalypse. He tries to imagine what that's like, offering the alcohol out to him. ] Hypothetically, of course.
[ the question is unexpected, despite how dean had opened the door for it. it forces him to sit back where he'd started leaning with his anger, shuts him up for a good long minute. another man might say yes immediately, it's a new shot at life, of something they never had. and yet... ]
[ He stands for a moment longer, looking at him and wavering a little as he considers it. Would it be worth it? A world without that kind of pain? Without-- Castiel blinks and pushes back, sitting heavily on his bed this time. ]
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no subject
Date: 2013-10-30 07:23 pm (UTC)actually, he might but maybe not today. if life keeps being as shitty as it has lately, well, ask again.
it's the request for his hand that has dean pausing and raising a brow, not moving as instructed. ]
Why? What're you hidin'? [ don't tell him it's a blade and you're gonna chop it off. he kinda needs it for shooting and... other things.... ]
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Date: 2013-10-30 07:29 pm (UTC)Please trust me. [ Because that's all he's asking here, all he's ever asked, and honestly, it's what he thinks they borh need right now. Granted, this gift isn't a good substitute, but... It's all he has. ] Your hand, Dean.
[ He's too stubborn to explain. Don't test him. ]
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Date: 2013-10-30 07:34 pm (UTC)Well?
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Date: 2013-10-30 07:49 pm (UTC)Castiel traces the lines of it for a second or two--only to make sure it's not too tight. ]
It's, uh... [ for someone with faith in nothing ] It should bring you luck.
[ He doesn't let go just yet. ]
did u put a ring on it cas did u
Date: 2013-10-30 08:16 pm (UTC)he would have much sooner seen you dropping to your knees than this, really. so give him a moment. ]
A lucky charm? [ another look, cas, you can have it. but despite that, his tone remains carefully neutral as he slowly withdraws his hand to look at the odd symbol closer. ]
maybe. does this mean they're going on a honeymoon now
Date: 2013-10-30 08:41 pm (UTC)It's also for... protection. [ Who's to say he's actually wrong about that. ] I think we need all we can get in a place like this.
[ Awkward now, he just stands there. ]
And for you to remember you are not alone.
idk did you plan one!!!!
Date: 2013-10-30 10:54 pm (UTC)M'sure its power will be put to the test sooner rather than later.
[ because yeah, this place.
the last part has him pausing, hesitating... ]
Right.
[ don't expect a thank you!!!! ]
You give one of these to everyone you invite over?
i could have!!!!
Date: 2013-10-30 11:06 pm (UTC)You're the, uhm, fearless leader. I would think you mean more than some random person. [ He keeps his voice cool, distant. ] Besides, who would I bring here?
[ No one really. There's been a handful of others, but nothing beyond words, looks. He hasn't touched despite the urge to do so. ]
There is no other, and you're the only one to have it. [ Just like him. ]
where are we going
Date: 2013-10-31 05:33 am (UTC)It'll do.
[ is said finally, quietly. it's the only sort of thanks you'll get for it. ]
to the moon
Date: 2013-11-02 04:28 am (UTC)I'm glad you like it.
[ Doesn't mean he isn't going to be a big smug about it though. ]
sexy
Date: 2013-11-03 06:45 am (UTC)But whatever. I didn't come here for this. Less talkin, more drinking.
[ he needs to get drunk, alright. ]
you know it
Date: 2013-11-03 07:01 am (UTC)He has to look up at him from this angle, but it's not the first time he's done so. ]
I'm not keeping you from it. [ Because he still has the other bottle. Castiel opens his and leans back, watching him as he takes a drink. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-11-03 07:24 am (UTC)So... manage to taint your screw up of a past self yet? He was there, you know, on the spaceship when it happened.
[ when sam died. ]
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Date: 2013-11-05 06:48 am (UTC)I do, and he's aware of his mistakes. [ More than. There's something like a hum. ] Have you, uhm, seen him around?
[ Because he hasn't. Not since contacting him a few days prior when he'd learned the news himself. It makes him angry, but there's a little pride mixed with it, knowing that he had succeeded where his supposed "better" self had not, even if it had only been once. It's twisted logic, and it has him drinking again--several big, quick swallows. ]
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Date: 2013-11-07 12:12 am (UTC)dean has no plans of approaching the angel. ]
Probably better that way.
[ he would, god knows it, just end up getting castiel killed most likely. ]
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Date: 2013-11-07 12:40 am (UTC)There's a low sound of dissatisfaction. ]
I think it would be... unwise to disregard him completely. Past you, as well. [ He drops his gaze, leveling with Dean. ] It seems a considerable amount of time has passed since last we saw him.
[ So what do we know about either of them now? ]
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Date: 2013-11-07 08:17 am (UTC)Why the hell would I give past-me the time of day? All he keeps yappin' on about is-- is shit that never concerned him to begin with.
[ namely getting his friends killed. oops. ]
If there's one reason to get in his face, it's because he expects me to stay away from Sam. I ain't about to.
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Date: 2013-11-12 04:49 am (UTC)[ You are your own worst, after all. He gives him a smug grin before dropping his eyes to stare at the bottle he's drinking from. His thumb rolls along the edge. ]
... isn't that Sam's choice?
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Date: 2013-11-13 07:15 am (UTC)Sam can't ignore me forever either.
[ dean won't let him. brb going to empty this bottle now thanks. ]
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Date: 2013-11-14 02:10 am (UTC)[ Use him if he has to. However quietly it's implied, it's only there for a second or two, and then, it's almost a race to see who can finish their bottle first, though Castiel isn't as hellbent on downing the rest. There's already a slow burn in his gut anyhow. ]
Perhaps not. [ And he leaves it at that. ]
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Date: 2013-11-16 12:37 am (UTC)Either way, none of it matters here anyway, right? We're dead, they're not, and it ain't like we can just fuckin' hitch a ride with them back to their little paradise universe.
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Date: 2013-11-17 04:59 am (UTC)So, slowly, he climbs to his feet and uses the edge of his bed as a guide, already a bit lightheaded from the way the previous stuff hums in his veins. Yet, he's practiced, and there's a little breathy laugh as he wiggles one free and works to get it open with oddly sure hands. ]
If you could, would you want to follow them? [ Back there, a world without an apocalypse. He tries to imagine what that's like, offering the alcohol out to him. ] Hypothetically, of course.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 08:23 am (UTC)There's nothing for me there.
[ his sam is dead.
dean takes the bottle before asking; ] Would you?
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 07:15 pm (UTC)No. [ And carefully: ] Does that surprise you?
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 08:59 pm (UTC)What? You get a thing for the death and destruction or something?
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