Haven't you learned anything from what's happened before?
[ He doesn't want to deal with this. He doesn't want to say it. But if no one else does, it's just going to keep going in circles. Castiel is starting to get dizzy. ]
[ true as it might be, it's still a slap to the face. dean stares at the choice, few words, the anger bubbling furious and immediate-- so much so it's incredible he doesn't throw the device into the wall. ]
If you're saying I'm the reason he said yes before, you come say it to my face.
I'm saying it could have been a deciding factor. [ Not that he knows for certain, but maybe he's just trying to pick a fight now. ] If you want to see me, find me yourself.
[ And that's all he's going to say. Don't expect him to answer you. ]
[ it takes dean a while to find him -- something that should cool him down but only really makes him angrier -- and the only reason he does is because he spots cas on the way back from somewhere, at the entrance into the dorm building.
his greeting comes in the form of slamming cas right against the brick wall, one hand curling around the other man's neck, the other pinning down his chest-- ]
Anything else you wanna add 'bout how I drove my brother into Lucifer's arms? Tell me, I'm all ears.
[ If there's anything to be said about Dean, it's that he's persistent--and thorough. Castiel had been avoiding the dorms for that particular reason, but he'd slipped. Now, they are here, and there's a sharp, throbbing ache working its way up his spine to the back of his head. Air leaves his lungs with a soft ugh, hand immediately up to wrap around the wrist of the hand pressed to his throat. ]
I think I've said all that needs to be said. [ His smile is strained. ] For the moment.
[ He's not afraid of Dean by any means. If he wants a fight, Castiel will give him one. ]
Shut up. [ the fingers squeeze down, relentless in their hold as he doesn't budge an inch despite the hand wrapping around his wrist. ]
First you come to me with some stupid half-assed plan about moving out, and then you blame me for Lucifer getting his hands on Sam. You have a lotta fuckin' nerve.
[ if there's one thing dean doesn't need a reminder of, it's being the reason for sam saying yes. he knows. he knows he drove sam to it, knows he made his brother hate him so much the devil seemed like the better option, but to have that rubbed in his face?
not gonna happen. ]
You think just 'cause we were stuck in some hotel fridge together that you can get away with this shit? That it changes anything? You're wrong.
[ He listens to those accusations and forces them to roll off. Perhaps the idea had lacked foresight, but he'd given it with good intention, with promise of making something they could look to as a second home. Castiel waits through every single one, gaze half-focused on something behind Dean until he thinks he's allowed to speak again.
He tries. ]
Of course not. [ The words are soft and quiet. ] Nothing is ever going to change. It's why Sam insists on courting the Devil. It's... why we're like this.
[ Because it's always the same. They seek out what they know, and it's also why this is beginning to repeat itself. If Dean presses any harder, he's going to knee him and take the advantage. Still, he waits and bides his time carefully. He meets Dean's eyes. ]
But it doesn't make what I've said less of a truth.
[ what part of shut up didn't you understand, cas? the anger is blinding as it is strong, and dean is seconds away from completely losing himself in it. the truth is such a painfully, twisted thing that he can't-- stand to hear it, not at all. can't face it despite knowing it to be as cas says it is.
but he just-- ]
I said shut up.
[ this time he presses with intent, with something that lacks control just like this situation. how it got to this point is beyond dean but he doesn't care. only that cas shuts his mouth. ]
[ He presses to stop, to choke, and instinct floods Castiel's body, fingers curling and digging hard into the tender underside of Dean's wrist. Like a scratch, pushing nail into skin. It's then, too, that he uses the wall as leverage and pushes off of it, angling his leg up to knee him hard-- The stomach, groin. It doesn't matter what he's aiming for.
Only that he connects with flesh, throws him off guard. And does it hard.
But it's not as if he stops there, pulling his elbow in and using his forearm to break the hold Dean has on his throat. He sucks in a mouthful of air and feels dizzy, impossibly so at the sudden rush of oxygen. Maybe he coughs, staggers. Despite knowing to get space between them, recover his stance, he's glaring at him, fingers touching at his throat.
It's going to bruise. ]
I know enough. [ More than he wants to. Castiel breathes and moves to tackle him. ]
[ with the press comes the will to fight; something dean should know but doesn't see coming. not until cas is clawing at his wrist, and then sending a knee right into his stomach. it gets him stumbling back, sharp, numbing pain pulsing trough his entire system as he grips a hand over his lower body, curses falling from his lips.
and then he's falling, cas' weight slamming against him in a tackle that ends with him on the ground, grunting as the hard stone meets with his back. ]
Fuck you--
[ dean swings a fist blindly, wanting to break cas' face but who knows if it'll end up anywhere near there. whatever, as long as there's pain involved, he'll keep dishing punches out. ]
[ The impact shouldn't surprise him, but it does enough to jar his entire body. He lands hard on top of Dean, half-straddling him as he mindlessly reaches out to curl a hand into the fabric of his jacket and yank. Pull, shake, upset his orientation. It causes that fist Dean lashes out with to go astray, slamming hard into his shoulder.
Castiel grunts, teeth grit. Then, he's balling up his hand, drawing back and connecting his own fist with Dean's jaw. Pain flares through his knuckles, but he's far from stopping. ]
Is that really all you've got?
[ Taunting, encouraging him to hurt him. So they can hurt each other. He leans back, fist up again to follow through with a second punch as he yanks on his clothes. It leaves him a little unbalanced, open. ]
[ when the fist doesn't hit, dean's thrown off balance even more, and cas' own hit erupts pain throughout his entire face. he's grunting again then, feels blood swell somewhere inside his mouth thanks to broken skin, but it does nothing to deter the anger.
the taunting only helps, has him all but growling as he takes advantage of cas leaning back. he swings at him from the side, more a shove than anything else, though there's unmistakable power behind the force of it all. ]
Do you have a death wish?
[ because he's halfway considering delivering, which goes to show just how out of control everything is becoming. ]
[ He doesn't know why they're doing this, why they're fighting or close to killing each other. Dean could do it. Castiel knows he could. But he could also end him, no less adept at killing than the other man beneath him. Breath leaves him once more in a loud gasp with the blind shove, using his thighs to squeeze those hips and keep himself from toppling over. ]
Do you?
[ It's a useless response, gripping Dean's jacket and hauling himself close. The length of his forearm shoves itself under Dean's chin and stops short of pressing in to choke him. He leans down, glaring at him. ] What are you trying to prove?
[ That he can kill him? If that's the case, Castiel isn't going to roll over and surrender. ]
[ he'd hoped to topple cas over, but true to the world they come from, cas doesn't fall easily and instead manages to stay on. dean's going in for another shove, hands digging, shoving, pushing at castiel's side but from where he lies it's hard to get the right amount of force.
the press of cas' forearm stills him entirely and suddenly, forces him to tilt his head back as he draws a quick gasp of a breath.
what are you trying to prove? he doesn't know, and it stops him short. it bubbles under his skin, anger and hatred but he doesn't know why-- why now. the words, the accusation and the truth of what cas had said had triggered this, but why now? why react this way? it's all crashing around him then, like he can see what he's doing but has no idea why--
dean swallows hard, not moving an inch otherwise. ]
[ He, too, is persistent, and Castiel isn't going to give him the room to take the advantage in this situation. It angers him that Dean thinks that attacking him is going to get them anywhere at all when they're nowhere to begin with, and just for a moment, he pushes in with his arm. He could choke him just as easily as Dean has choked him. He could--
The words snap him back to the present, and he eases up on the pressure. ]
No. [ Castiel shifts and leans down so that he has no choice but to look at his face. ] If this is the only way to make you understand, so be it.
[ Because he refuses to follow that command when there is no answer. Dean never gives him anything, never trusts him enough. He only pushes and expects him to fall to his word instantly without complaint. Things have changed, and Castiel with them. It's the best lesson he's ever learned from their time together, from Dean himself. Change to survive, adapt. He sucks in a breath and doesn't move. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:45 am (UTC)He wants nothing to do with me.
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 07:49 am (UTC)You fucking moron. He'll bail the moment he realizes the slightly important detail you left out.
Then what?
Forget it.
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:53 am (UTC)But you should consider apologizing for whatever it is you've done this time.
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:54 am (UTC)I'm not apologizing for trying to do the right thing.
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:58 am (UTC)Have you ever thought of asking Sam what it is he wants to do?
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Date: 2014-02-24 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 08:07 am (UTC)1/2
Date: 2014-02-24 08:11 am (UTC)[ He doesn't want to deal with this. He doesn't want to say it. But if no one else does, it's just going to keep going in circles. Castiel is starting to get dizzy. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 08:12 am (UTC)WOW
Date: 2014-02-24 08:22 am (UTC)If you're saying I'm the reason he said yes before, you come say it to my face.
[ so he can murder you. ]
OH I'M SORRY YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE?
Date: 2014-02-24 08:27 am (UTC)[ And that's all he's going to say. Don't expect him to answer you. ]
here we go fun times ahead
Date: 2014-02-24 08:35 am (UTC)his greeting comes in the form of slamming cas right against the brick wall, one hand curling around the other man's neck, the other pinning down his chest-- ]
Anything else you wanna add 'bout how I drove my brother into Lucifer's arms? Tell me, I'm all ears.
[ a hiss that's spat in cas' face. ]
your definition of fun hurts me
Date: 2014-02-24 08:44 am (UTC)I think I've said all that needs to be said. [ His smile is strained. ] For the moment.
[ He's not afraid of Dean by any means. If he wants a fight, Castiel will give him one. ]
playing rough is the best tho
Date: 2014-02-24 08:53 am (UTC)First you come to me with some stupid half-assed plan about moving out, and then you blame me for Lucifer getting his hands on Sam. You have a lotta fuckin' nerve.
[ if there's one thing dean doesn't need a reminder of, it's being the reason for sam saying yes. he knows. he knows he drove sam to it, knows he made his brother hate him so much the devil seemed like the better option, but to have that rubbed in his face?
not gonna happen. ]
You think just 'cause we were stuck in some hotel fridge together that you can get away with this shit? That it changes anything? You're wrong.
now this is just getting kinky
Date: 2014-02-24 09:08 am (UTC)He tries. ]
Of course not. [ The words are soft and quiet. ] Nothing is ever going to change. It's why Sam insists on courting the Devil. It's... why we're like this.
[ Because it's always the same. They seek out what they know, and it's also why this is beginning to repeat itself. If Dean presses any harder, he's going to knee him and take the advantage. Still, he waits and bides his time carefully. He meets Dean's eyes. ]
But it doesn't make what I've said less of a truth.
always
Date: 2014-02-24 09:28 am (UTC)but he just-- ]
I said shut up.
[ this time he presses with intent, with something that lacks control just like this situation. how it got to this point is beyond dean but he doesn't care. only that cas shuts his mouth. ]
You don't know shit--
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Date: 2014-02-24 09:41 am (UTC)Only that he connects with flesh, throws him off guard. And does it hard.
But it's not as if he stops there, pulling his elbow in and using his forearm to break the hold Dean has on his throat. He sucks in a mouthful of air and feels dizzy, impossibly so at the sudden rush of oxygen. Maybe he coughs, staggers. Despite knowing to get space between them, recover his stance, he's glaring at him, fingers touching at his throat.
It's going to bruise. ]
I know enough. [ More than he wants to. Castiel breathes and moves to tackle him. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 09:50 am (UTC)and then he's falling, cas' weight slamming against him in a tackle that ends with him on the ground, grunting as the hard stone meets with his back. ]
Fuck you--
[ dean swings a fist blindly, wanting to break cas' face but who knows if it'll end up anywhere near there. whatever, as long as there's pain involved, he'll keep dishing punches out. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 10:01 am (UTC)Castiel grunts, teeth grit. Then, he's balling up his hand, drawing back and connecting his own fist with Dean's jaw. Pain flares through his knuckles, but he's far from stopping. ]
Is that really all you've got?
[ Taunting, encouraging him to hurt him. So they can hurt each other. He leans back, fist up again to follow through with a second punch as he yanks on his clothes. It leaves him a little unbalanced, open. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 08:59 pm (UTC)the taunting only helps, has him all but growling as he takes advantage of cas leaning back. he swings at him from the side, more a shove than anything else, though there's unmistakable power behind the force of it all. ]
Do you have a death wish?
[ because he's halfway considering delivering, which goes to show just how out of control everything is becoming. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 10:49 pm (UTC)Do you?
[ It's a useless response, gripping Dean's jacket and hauling himself close. The length of his forearm shoves itself under Dean's chin and stops short of pressing in to choke him. He leans down, glaring at him. ] What are you trying to prove?
[ That he can kill him? If that's the case, Castiel isn't going to roll over and surrender. ]
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Date: 2014-02-24 11:12 pm (UTC)the press of cas' forearm stills him entirely and suddenly, forces him to tilt his head back as he draws a quick gasp of a breath.
what are you trying to prove? he doesn't know, and it stops him short. it bubbles under his skin, anger and hatred but he doesn't know why-- why now. the words, the accusation and the truth of what cas had said had triggered this, but why now? why react this way? it's all crashing around him then, like he can see what he's doing but has no idea why--
dean swallows hard, not moving an inch otherwise. ]
Get off me.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 11:34 pm (UTC)The words snap him back to the present, and he eases up on the pressure. ]
No. [ Castiel shifts and leans down so that he has no choice but to look at his face. ] If this is the only way to make you understand, so be it.
[ Because he refuses to follow that command when there is no answer. Dean never gives him anything, never trusts him enough. He only pushes and expects him to fall to his word instantly without complaint. Things have changed, and Castiel with them. It's the best lesson he's ever learned from their time together, from Dean himself. Change to survive, adapt. He sucks in a breath and doesn't move. ]
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