[ which one do you think is more important to him? because the way he sees it is if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't try, then lucifer will find a way to claim sam and he'll loose his brother all over again, he'll have to watch the world burn again. ]
[ Sam's quiet for a moment, the line of his jaw tensing up as he watches his brother. He's so sure, so...resigned. It isn't just stubbornness or resolve; Dean has given up and this is the only path he sees in front of him.
He doesn't seem to get that this is a different road all together. ]
This isn't an either or scenario, Dean. [ Sam shakes his head. ] I was meant to say "yes", is what I keep hearing. From you--from both of you, from him-- [ Which wasn't the most enjoyable conversation to have. ] --but you know what? I'm not going to. Because as long as I don't, then we have options. That's the same for you.
[ he hadn't come here to discuss this really, more to check up on sam and to chase down lucifer, but he's not surprised it has come down to this plans. still, he's not looking too happy about discussing them... ]
I already said no once, Sam and it cost me you. It cost me everything.
[ He shakes his head again, but it's slower this time, more sad. He has never seen his brother so worn down before; not even physically, just so...stuck. He's always been the more obedient of the two, but Dean believed in something then. Their father. He believed that John knew what was best for them and that following his orders is the right thing to do.
This Dean is out of options. He's lost something to believe in. Sam swallows visibly. ]
This isn't then. This is now. This is an entirely different situation. And we can make the right--better choices this time. [ He looks Dean right in the eyes. ] I know you can. You're still my brother.
[ that leaves dean quiet. has him curling his hands into fists as he lets his eyes drop to the floor for a moment. it should be easier for sam this way, with another dean lined up and waiting. not as much loss if he lets himself become michael's vessel then, right? ]
I killed you, Sam. [ reason enough, right? ]
...But I won't let you get killed again. But if I don't do this, I might as well sign your death all over, which I can't allow.
[ don't forgive him, don't. it'll make him want to stay, make things better and he can't. it flashes over his face; surprise, relief and something utterly broken-- so he turns after a pause, turns away and starts right back the way he'd come. ]
You don't know what you're saying. We're done. I'm doing it, end of discussion.
[ Sam shouldn't be surprised by the reaction, but he is. Maybe because he's come to realize he has the choice to stay mad at Dean for something that was bigger than the both of them, or to put that aside and get his brother back, to stand up to the people that were threatening them. He made his choice.
Why was that hard to accept? ]
Dean--wait.
[ He goes after him, his long legs closing the distance between them quickly as he reaches out to grab ahold of Dean's jacket. ]
[ should have asked cas if touching dean while he's turned his back on you is a good idea, sam. because it's not, really not, and despite how he knows his brother will follow, the moment he feels sam reaching out, dean's turning and shoving his brother hard. ]
No, back off, Sam. We're done here. I'm going to say yes and that's it. It'll be the right thing to do, you'll see.
[ He didn't think Dean would be happy, but he didn't expect to end up shoved back towards a desk to the point of hearing the wooden legs scratch against the worn floor. The edge of the table cut into his lower back, but the force of Dean's actions caught Sam off guard more than the result.
Sam stares, brows furrowed closely together, eyes trying to focus on his brother's face and find something other than hard resolve. ]
[ Sam doesn't go after Dean this time. He wants to, but once bitten and all that. He watches, instead, eyes begging for Dean to turn around and listen to reason.
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action;
Date: 2013-12-01 10:03 pm (UTC)[ which one do you think is more important to him? because the way he sees it is if he doesn't do this, if he doesn't try, then lucifer will find a way to claim sam and he'll loose his brother all over again, he'll have to watch the world burn again. ]
This is what I was meant to do, Sam.
action;
Date: 2013-12-01 10:10 pm (UTC)He doesn't seem to get that this is a different road all together. ]
This isn't an either or scenario, Dean. [ Sam shakes his head. ] I was meant to say "yes", is what I keep hearing. From you--from both of you, from him-- [ Which wasn't the most enjoyable conversation to have. ] --but you know what? I'm not going to. Because as long as I don't, then we have options. That's the same for you.
action;
Date: 2013-12-01 10:39 pm (UTC)I already said no once, Sam and it cost me you. It cost me everything.
action;
Date: 2013-12-01 11:03 pm (UTC)This Dean is out of options. He's lost something to believe in. Sam swallows visibly. ]
This isn't then. This is now. This is an entirely different situation. And we can make the right--better choices this time. [ He looks Dean right in the eyes. ] I know you can. You're still my brother.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 01:29 am (UTC)What better choices, Sam? There aren't any-- this is the best one.
[ waiting is the worst thing they can do right now, and this argument is pointless. ]
I don't expect you to understand, but this is.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 04:39 am (UTC)[ He won't give up on you yet. ]
You think I want to lose you?
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 04:52 am (UTC)No. But you have other-me.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 04:57 am (UTC)You're not the same person. [ As if it wasn't obvious enough. ] I don't want to lose you.
[ Even if you shot him. ]
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 05:03 am (UTC)I killed you, Sam. [ reason enough, right? ]
...But I won't let you get killed again. But if I don't do this, I might as well sign your death all over, which I can't allow.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 05:13 am (UTC)[ It still hurts, but after meeting Lucifer? He gets it. He gets why Dean tried. He can't blame him anymore. ]
I forgive you.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 05:55 am (UTC)You don't know what you're saying. We're done. I'm doing it, end of discussion.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 06:08 am (UTC)Why was that hard to accept? ]
Dean--wait.
[ He goes after him, his long legs closing the distance between them quickly as he reaches out to grab ahold of Dean's jacket. ]
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 06:43 am (UTC)No, back off, Sam. We're done here. I'm going to say yes and that's it. It'll be the right thing to do, you'll see.
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 06:55 am (UTC)Sam stares, brows furrowed closely together, eyes trying to focus on his brother's face and find something other than hard resolve. ]
You're making a mistake!
action;
Date: 2013-12-02 08:14 am (UTC)I'm not. It's the only way. [ though he's not sure if he's repeating that for sam or himself at this point. ]
So keep your fuckin' distance, Sam.
[ he turns then, again, and heads for the exit. ]
action;
Date: 2013-12-06 03:20 am (UTC)But he isn't counting on it. ]