I don't think, I know. [ it's snarled, vicious. when it comes to him, he knows dean would like- just to fuck with him and hurt him. and yet there's that sinking feeling that he isn't lying, that this really is true-- and it's unfair.
he gives him a rougher shake-- ]
You don't deserve it, you didn't say yes. [ he'd screamed himself hoarse. ]
For starters, puttin' you into a grave sounds like a good idea.
[ Both because he's an asshole and because it's Sam. Dean grips his shirt a little tighter, jaw set, stubborn down to his boots. ]
You fucked it up, you shoulda stopped him, you could have stopped him from saying yes like that. Don't think it was easy- don't think we didn't bleed for what we got. It was a shit deal for everyone, even if the whole planet didn't get nuked.
[ could have, should have, it's all a little too late now. and dean doesn't appreciate being reminded of that. you got to keep your brother is what he wants to hiss, but instead dean ends up shoving him hard with something close to a growl. ]
Shut up.
[ and whether his past-self clings on or has the sense to let go, dean's drawing his gun in one smooth motion. ]
[ Yeah, he knows that's gonna go well. You don't rub his face in something he failed at and expect it to go all peaches. Dean catches himself, drawing his gun just as quickly, tilting his head. ]
So, what. Gonna kill me? [ Stupid, fucking stupid, but he's so angry because this idiot just doesn't get it. ] Hey, everyone's gotta have a talent.
[ dean hasn't been this angry in a long time. his breath falls heavy, rage boiling his skin but his aim remains steady, always steady as the barrel is aimed at his own self. ]
Killing you would be too easy.
[ if he could, he'd show you exactly what torturing can become with years of more training. ]
No, what I have in mind is a little bit more personal. [ though it still means getting shot first. of course, that's gonna be hard with dean aiming his gun right back at him. ]
One of us kills the other, we get brought back. You shoot me, I shoot you.
[ That's not the part he's worried about, though. ] Someone
needs to watch Sam, and it's sure as hell not you.
See, there's the problem. It ain't gonna be you either. [ he has no plans on approaching sam, not for a while, but to think this dean would get to.... it doesn't settle right with him. ]
What makes you think you're any more fit to look after him, anyway? [ alright, more fit than him, but neither of them are good enough in the long run. ] Ain't either of our track records that clean when it comes to him, even if mine might be a little smudgier.
We're not exactly rolling in people I trust, here.
[ this Dean's Cas doesn't count, and neither does future Dean's. They don't have a lot of options here and like hell Dean's going to entrust that to anyone else. ]
What, what makes me more fit than you? How 'bout the fact Lucifer's not wearing him to prom?
You forgetting how the angels dragged my ass through time to try and make a point? Who's gonna say there's no chance of Lucifer trying to get Sam here, 'cause he's pissed he didn't get him in my timeline? Hell, what if he shows up here?
[ if sam wasn't here, dean would be almost be excited at the idea of lucifer showing-- the hunt would be back on, he'd have a purpose again, another shot at killing the devil. ]
No, I fought him for years, did everything I could to get him back, but--
But in the end I had to something, take a risk-- and it failed, alright? We both know what that tastes like. [ never mind that he'd gone into that fight knowing it most likely wouldn't work, that he would lose his life among his friend's.
greedy, but then, leaving that world behind hadn't been such a massive loss. ]
[ Except there's no heat to his words. There's nothing but just a flat statement, because he didn't do enough, either. He'd broken when Sammy took the hit he did, and things only got worse before they got better. ]
[ where there's no heat in dean's words, his are fueled by angry, broken fire. ]
Don't you fuckin' tell me I didn't do enough-- I did everything I could. Everything. [ except no, he should have called sam before it was too late, gotten back together, been there for him, not chased him away--
and fuck, as if he doesn't already blame himself for it all.
he's stepping away from him then, livid enough to just-- want to hurt things, people, anything or anyone. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-10-22 08:04 pm (UTC)[ Oh, he has the high ground now, too. Dean grins, teeth flashing white in the dim lighting around them and he steps in close, too. ]
Lucifer and Michael got locked in the cage.
Sammy- well it ain't all peaches and cream, but he beats the devil.
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Date: 2013-10-22 08:18 pm (UTC)and dean's curling a hand into the lapels of his past-self's jacket, hauling him closer in a flash. ]
You must really think I'm a goddamn fool--
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Date: 2013-10-22 08:23 pm (UTC)[ Omit, yeah. He's sure as hell not giving him all the details, but he'll lord this over him as long as he can. ]
What're you gonna do, anyway?
[ Dean mirrors the gesture, clenching tight at the material of the other man's shirt. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 08:49 pm (UTC)he gives him a rougher shake-- ]
You don't deserve it, you didn't say yes. [ he'd screamed himself hoarse. ]
For starters, puttin' you into a grave sounds like a good idea.
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:00 pm (UTC)[ Both because he's an asshole and because it's Sam. Dean grips his shirt a little tighter, jaw set, stubborn down to his boots. ]
You fucked it up, you shoulda stopped him, you could have stopped him from saying yes like that. Don't think it was easy- don't think we didn't bleed for what we got. It was a shit deal for everyone, even if the whole planet didn't get nuked.
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:16 pm (UTC)Shut up.
[ and whether his past-self clings on or has the sense to let go, dean's drawing his gun in one smooth motion. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:20 pm (UTC)So, what. Gonna kill me? [ Stupid, fucking stupid, but he's so angry because this idiot just doesn't get it. ] Hey, everyone's gotta have a talent.
[ Yours is killing people. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:30 pm (UTC)Killing you would be too easy.
[ if he could, he'd show you exactly what torturing can become with years of more training. ]
No, what I have in mind is a little bit more personal. [ though it still means getting shot first. of course, that's gonna be hard with dean aiming his gun right back at him. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:35 pm (UTC)[ Which is why he's aiming to maim, to disable, not to kill. He's not going to camp out at the grave site waiting for you. ]
What, you wanna play that game? We both know how this'll go.
[ Don't be a fucking moron. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:39 pm (UTC)what is having a life.it's his turn to tilt his head. ]
Really? No, tell me, how exactly is this gonna go, Dean?
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Date: 2013-10-22 09:47 pm (UTC)We're both stuck here, jackass.
[ You need a hobby. ]
One of us kills the other, we get brought back. You shoot me, I shoot you. [ That's not the part he's worried about, though. ] Someone needs to watch Sam, and it's sure as hell not you.
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:05 pm (UTC)What makes you think you're any more fit to look after him, anyway? [ alright, more fit than him, but neither of them are good enough in the long run. ] Ain't either of our track records that clean when it comes to him, even if mine might be a little smudgier.
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:07 pm (UTC)[ this Dean's Cas doesn't count, and neither does future Dean's. They don't have a lot of options here and like hell Dean's going to entrust that to anyone else. ]
What, what makes me more fit than you? How 'bout the fact Lucifer's not wearing him to prom?
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:12 pm (UTC)he grits out his words, more and more done with this conversation; ]
Lucifer isn't here. It won't happen again. [ not even on his watch. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:16 pm (UTC)[ Dean gets right up in his face. ]
You forgetting how the angels dragged my ass through time to try and make a point? Who's gonna say there's no chance of Lucifer trying to get Sam here, 'cause he's pissed he didn't get him in my timeline? Hell, what if he shows up here?
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:23 pm (UTC)Then I'll kill him.
[ hissed right in your face. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:24 pm (UTC)[ You're a fucking moron. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:28 pm (UTC)[ sorta kinda, yeah. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:31 pm (UTC)Something really is broken in you. You iced Sam. I bring it up and you don't even flinch. D'you really hate him that much?
[ He can't...wrap his mind around it. Yeah, he and Sam argue, but this is a whole new level of fuckery. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:43 pm (UTC)Do you want me to cry 'bout it? Still not gonna change any of it. [ a beat. ] If I hated Sam, I'd have let him burn the world years ago.
[ or let his body be used to do so, anyway. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:48 pm (UTC)Yeah, 'cause you can't change anything makes it okay. Good to know.
[ Dean's hands clench on his shirt, resisting the urge to punch him again, barely. ]
Dude, I was there. You as good as did.
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:54 pm (UTC)But in the end I had to something, take a risk-- and it failed, alright? We both know what that tastes like. [ never mind that he'd gone into that fight knowing it most likely wouldn't work, that he would lose his life among his friend's.
greedy, but then, leaving that world behind hadn't been such a massive loss. ]
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Date: 2013-10-22 11:57 pm (UTC)[ Except there's no heat to his words. There's nothing but just a flat statement, because he didn't do enough, either. He'd broken when Sammy took the hit he did, and things only got worse before they got better. ]
Yeah. Doesn't mean I like it.
[ Doesn't mean he'll accept it easily. ]
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Date: 2013-10-23 12:04 am (UTC)Don't you fuckin' tell me I didn't do enough-- I did everything I could. Everything. [ except no, he should have called sam before it was too late, gotten back together, been there for him, not chased him away--
and fuck, as if he doesn't already blame himself for it all.
he's stepping away from him then, livid enough to just-- want to hurt things, people, anything or anyone. ]
We're done, this conversation is done.
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Date: 2013-10-23 12:41 am (UTC)[ No, he didn't. But they both know that and Dean's not about to beat a long dead horse.
When the other steps back, he does too, but he keeps a hand on his gun, just in case. ]
Yeah, it is. Stay away from Sam. We clear?
(no subject)
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