hardhearted | ic inbox ; exitvoid

[ This isn't exactly what Sam had planned...but it's not an unreasonable request. He still takes a while to respond. ]

I'll meet you at the library.

[ It says two things: one, Sam is willing to see him in person, but most of all that he doesn't feel like telling Dean where he actually is. Not yet. The library is a fairly neutral location and one that's stereotypical of Sam to hole up in, anyway. Plus it's safer inside considering everything going on beyond their family Heaven vs. Hell drama. ]

[ dean doesn't bother with a reply, just heads for the library. there's urgency in his steps, a need to get there, to sam, as soon as he possibly can. with michael and lucifer both in this place, with everything going to shit, he needs to see sam, see him be alright, and to protect him. ]

Sam?

[ is his greeting once he's at the library, stepping into the quiet, large room filled with bookcases. ]

[ Sam is standing beside one of the bookcases, knowing he needs to wait but unable to completely ignore the rows of old spines facing him. He's running his fingers down the edge of a peeling cover before he hears Dean's voice.

Sam looks up, wary for a moment, but knows he instigated this. He's prepared this time. ]

Dean.

[ when he sees sam, dean stops a little ways from him, knowing it better to keep his distance despite how he wants to check up on his brother. it doesn't stop him from giving him a long look, like he's searching for any visible wounds. ]

When did you talk to him? Where?

[ Sam does take a step forward, but that's all. He doesn't really want to admit this either. ]

On the platform about a week ago.

Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier?

[ he sounds upset, angry (but then, that's always), like he can't understand why sam hadn't come to him earlier with this. ]

After everything, why didn't you--

[ goddamn it, sam. ]

[ To his credit, Sam does look guilty. He casts his eyes away for a moment and shakes his head. ]

I figured Castiel would say something.

[ It's not an excuse. But Sam wanted to separate himself from it. At least for a while. ]

[ well, at least he has a name to after now... still, he doesn't look the least bit pleased. ]

Which one? And he didn't, you should have.

[ He doesn't really want to put either of them in the spotlight, to be honest. Because it was Sam's decision. ]

Does it matter? [ He holds both his hands out, palms open. ] It was my choice. I didn't--

[ Don't be dumb, Sam... ]

--...I figured it'd just send you off after him.

[ it would have sent him right after lucifer, and it would have kept sam safe. why his brother is so stupid that he can't see that is beyond dean, really. ]

I can't kill him if I don't know where he is, Sam. Or if you end up... doing something stupid.

[ like saying yes for some reason. ]

Can you kill him?

[ That's really what the question is. Because he isn't sending Dean on a suicide mission. ]

I have to try.

[ look, not lying for once!! but he has to try, over and over again until it's permanent. ]

You mean we have to try.

[ Because despite what you want to think, Dean, you're not in this alone. ]

I don't want you involved in it, Sam.

[ nope!! he's doing this alone, like he should have back in his own world. ]

That's too bad. Because I'm involved in it whether you want it or not.

[ He's the vessel. He doesn't have much of a choice. Sam shakes his head. ]

I don't want any of this anymore than you do, Dean.

No. Just stay safe-- just for a little while.

[ that's all he's asking. that sam stay hidden and safe for however long it takes dean to track down michael, to say yes. ]

If you do that, this'll be over faster.

How do you know that?

[ Sam asks earnestly, taking another step closer. ]

Tell me--where is safe?

Because I just do, alright?

[ dean tenses a little, partly because sam steps closer, but also because of what he ends up saying; ]

With other-me's your safest best. He'll keep you safe.

[ as much as he hates to admit it. ]

[ Sam isn't agreeing to anything; he's not going to be babysat. He's not so naive to not make the leap that Castiel's ability to appear and disappear at will isn't applicable to other angels. Sam has been on edge since that display of power, wondering if there's an if and when Lucifer decides to make his appearance.

Sam isn't sure if he's more bothered by the fact that he hasn't abused that ability to be intrusive. In fact, he hasn't seen him since their initial meeting. ]

What's your plan?

I do what I should have done in the beginning. I take him out with Michael.

[ is that putting it vaguely enough? either way, dean says it like it's simple, like it wouldn't end with him burned from his body. but that doesn't matter, he'd been too weak before, too prideful to give up his body. and it had cost him so, so dearly. ]

[ It might have been, if Sam hadn't badgered the other Dean for information. However carefully selected the pieces had been, Sam knew enough to understand the implications. Even before he speaks the worry etching deep on his features shows just how clear that statement is to him. ]

--You can't do that.

[ dean's expression just grows harder. ]

I have to, and it's what I'm going to do. It's the only way.

Why?

[ Sam refuses to believe it. Maybe because it's all still new to him, some place that looms off in the distance, even if the reality of their respective destinies has come pounding down on them with Lucifer and Michael's arrival. But Sam still has hope, he thinks this is an opportunity to change things.

He has to. Because if he doesn't believe that he isn't sure what else he can do right now. ]

Why is it the only way?

Because if there's one person who is powerful enough to take on Lucifer, it's Michael. And for him to be stronger, he needs me. If the Devil doesn't get his hands on you, he'll be at a disadvantage, Sam, and then I can gank him.

[ or michael can. details. ]

He won't.

[ Sam sounds resolved. There's nothing Lucifer can say, in Sam's mind, that would make him say "yes". Not with all the knowledge he has now. ]

Dean--what happens to you?

[ He's seen what happens to a vessel wearing down. Nick. That's his name. Trapped somewhere inside his own body as it falls apart. He can't wish that on Dean. ]

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