hardhearted | ic inbox ; exitvoid

[ dean is expecting this, sort of. cas never goes down easy, not even when faced with dean's wrath. an anger which is much warranted this time, if you ask dean, who, when he sees the texts, thinks about ignoring them.

and he does, for a long time.

eventually though, he's grabbing his device, and reading over the texts again. ]

I don't care. Lose my number.

[ He has plenty of time to waste, lost in too many thoughts, and it makes his words careless, his motives uncertain. The fact he doesn't answer immediately doesn't bother him whatsoever. ]

If I could hand you Lucifer, would you care then? [ Right to the point now. ]

[ a pause as dean considers, wonders if maybe somehow-- no. ]

You already had a chance at that. You failed.

I know, and I'm sorry.

But it's not over - I can do it again. I won't fail this time.

Just how fucking stupid do you think I am? You think I'd trust you to do something like that? For all I know this is some fucking trick you're planning with the Devil.

Do you honestly believe I would do that to you? After everything--

I am not cruel, Dean. I want to make it right, and I... I really do need you. I need you to trust me when I say it wasn't done without reason. It's changed slightly, but it's still for you. [ It always has been. ]

[ dean barks a vicious laugh at the text despite cas not being able to hear it. ]

Maybe it's because of everything that you did it. Was it some sort of revenge? Quit the bullshit. If it had been for me, you would have told me right away. You would have killed him. You wouldn't have spat shit about finding a new place, or trusting each other.

[ Which just... makes him angry through the haze of anxiety medication he's taken, and suddenly, he's more than glad they're not face-to-face right now. ]

Because I wanted those things with you makes them wrong?

I tried once before, and I failed. What of that? Killing him then would have gotten us nowhere since no one stays dead. It's never going to stop if we continue doing it the same way we always have. That is the truth you can't seem to grasp.

[ but see, there's a flaw cas, and he wanted to exploit it, wanted to test it... but he hadn't been able to find lucifer. ]

We were in another dimension, it might have not been the same. You stole the chance to test that from me.

And killing Sam wasn't enough to prove your theory wrong?

[ Because that was another dimension too. He'd still come back. ]

Don't you fucking talk about that. I made a mistake. Killing Lucifer and having him come back would have been worth the attempt. But you were too fucking much of a coward, weren't you? I can't believe I ever trusted you to stand by my side.

How would it have been worth it? He would still be here. You would have tried killing him again, only to reach the same conclusion.

You're not the only one allowed to make mistakes. I'm not... infallible. Of anyone here, you know that best. At least I'm trying to amend what I've done.

[ Even if it hurts to see him saying that. ]

It might have been different. And he would have deserved to feel death. Save it, Cas. I don't care. You mean nothing to me.

Then I will do it myself.

[ Because he has nothing else to say to that, doesn't really know where to begin. He wishes he could take it back, but if anything, he's determined. ]