hardhearted | ic inbox ; exitvoid

[ He knows he's angry, knows there's more they should discuss, but he's not entirely sure there's anything to talk about now. Still, it's been long enough since he'd walked away that, perhaps, Dean might have come to his senses. The radio silence is unnerving. ]

Did you do it?

[ He waits an hour, and when nothing comes-- ]

I realize you're probably still angry, but we should discuss this.

[ And another hours goes by. ]

... Dean?

Ignoring me isn't going to fix any of this. I hope you understand that.

[ So, nothing else had worked the day before. Time to try Plan B. ]

Are you finished? Or are you determined to continue punishing me?

This is serious. I need you to tell me what it is you're doing.

Or where you are. Are you... with him?

A simple yes or no would suffice.

[ Because he'd like to know if you're, you know, still alive. At least. ]

[ It's been less than twenty-four hours since he'd spoken with Sam, but everything is sitting heavy in his chest. Like a weight he can't seem to lift. Castiel hasn't approached the other Dean. He hasn't spoken with Michael to be sure. He's afraid of what it would mean if he did--as in his nightmares, how alone he truly is.

So, he stands at N202's door and waits. He waits and waits and waits. Over an hour passes, but still, he continues to stand there, sometimes shifting foot to foot or sitting. Honestly, he doesn't know how long he's there, and he doesn't acknowledge anyone that passes by. They are not Dean; he cannot bring himself to care. Eventually, however, he drags himself up when it's evident the man he's looking for isn't going to enter or exit.

Castiel faces the door, expression torn and his fists clenched. ]

Whatever it is that you've done-- [ It's a whisper, so slight no one would have even heard it. He shakes his head and bangs his fist hard against the door once before turning to go. Castiel squeezes his fingers until they're numb, hating himself for having walked away once. Just once. How he can call himself Dean's friend after this... He doesn't even know anymore. ]

I know you didn't say it.

So where are you?

[ He misses a day because he's growing desperate, looking wherever he can, and despite the people in those cages, he can't bring himself to care about it. ]

Please.

Don't be dead.

[ He's been distracted. You'd understand, right? Maybe. ]

I don't know how, but I'm going to find you.

Sam's coming. I think he's worried.

[ Never mind the fact he is also worried and beginning to think the worst. But that's not important right now. ]

[ He doesn't bother trying to contact him anymore. Except today. Because today is a bad day. Also, he's drunk. ]

sometimes, I don't know whether to hate you or

and i wish you could understand

I wanted to tell you

[ He's still a little drunk, but he's in more control than he was hours before. ]

If you ever get those, please ignore them.

ic inbox ; exitvoid

( w10d1 ) 1/god knows

no subject

no subject

no subject

(w10d2)

no subject

no subject

no subject

(w10d3)

( w10d4 )

no subject

( w10d6 )

no subject

( w11d1 )

no subject

( w11d6 )

no subject

no subject

( w11d7 ) early